I don't mean to...

"I don't mean to come across as a hard ass daddy but I'm getting killed in bills..."
this is how it began. A smile to help soothe, unknowlingly, my difficult day. That is the text that made everything feel somewhat better, again. My babygirl heart had been needing that. I replied by saying I "kinda liked it" not wanting to be overly vocal, just acknowledging the daddy reference; yet inside, I was screaming out on the rooftop, my daddy is still there. I needed that- I needed the little nudge. I needed to feel like daddy was there for his babygirl. It felt good to be reprimanded, in a sense. I needed it, to make me feel like I was still daddy's babygirl. Sometimes I just want, need, that authorative push. It makes my heart feel warm- it makes everything feel right again....
True, it was simple. The conversation was referencing the cell phone minutes- something ever so mundane- which made it even better, in a sense...but having daddy step in made my babygirl heart flutter a bit.

We haven't talked much today and I've been missing her like something fierce. I had my interview, which was stellar. The man wants an in person interview with me as soon as possible. R was not pleased with salary/compensation...It hurt my fragile heart when she came across in an abrasive manner with me about it, but in retrospect, I know it is just because she cares. It made me, in the moment, feel like she didn't want me anymore. Like she was pushing back.........