Day 02-- 30 Days, 30 Letters

your high school crush

JJ,
How many times I've dreamed of having the chance to write you a letter again, after the fateful one I wrote you that made you lose your job. How many times I cried myself to sleep, knowing I would never get to speak to you again, I'd never get to see you again; and worst of all, knowing that I was the reason you lost your job.
The day I found out what had happened, I was heartbroken. I was so young, and stupid, but I was in a very vulnerable place. I was stunnned that they had fired you over it, but more so, that they even found it. I felt like such an ass; I couldn't believe that you were gone.
In the short time I got to spend with you, I grew to enjoy your company oh so much. When I got sent away from school to wilderness that time, I was so distraught--not because I was going to wilderness (again) but because I knew I wouldn't get to see you, or spend time with you anymore for a while...but I also knew thought that I would get to see you again when I got back...and then the day came where Mr.Shady Staff, Wendell, said that I could secretly write to you, and he would take it to you. I was so excited, just to have that momentary contact with you again...but that one moment of pleasure came at a much higher cost than I would have ever dreamed of...
I spent so many days and nights thinking of how I could get in touch with you again after I was told you (as well as Wendell) had been fired, but deep down, I knew that I would never see you again. It was one of my many of a series of letdowns, but as simple as it sounds, I never was able to forget it.
I tried so many times to figure out a way to get in touch with you again, but as we know, that was not possible. With no information to go on, it was a lost cause. There were so many things I wished I could tell you; how great it felt to know that someone was there for me, in the Hell hole, after Nan was gone; how much I enjoyed the moments we got to spend together; and most of all, how sorry I was(and am) for sealing the fate of your job like that.
After the many years have passed. I still would jump on the opportunity to apoligize to you if given it. I was young and horribly stupid. I should have thought it through a little wiser, yet at the same time, I will never understand how you lost the letter, for it to be found! With that being said, I will never forget the role you played in my life; I just wish I would have had the chance to know you even better.
The run plan would have worked :o)
Warm Regards,
Aften