Thoughts....

I probably should be working on day 08 of my letters blog, seeing as though I have missed a few days, however, I feel that I am in the mental space for something a little different...

Where, oh where to begin...Well, the day that I began the last letter blog, to my ex, I would have been able to approach it a bit differently, however, she and I talked for the first time since I left, that day...awkward? yes. But as life presents situations, we all know that some things are a little more (or less) comfortable than others. She was interested in Chloe...very interested...
Seeing as though I have been in a long term relationship in the past where children were involved, as much as I'd like to pretend that I do not have a heart at times, I do... I know what it feels like to wonder, everyday, about a child; I know how it tears your heart out...and as much as I would like to pretend at times, that I do not care, I do. Bottom line: I have a much bigger heart than I am willing to claim.
After talking with Laura, I did not know how to approach it with my dear R. I was scared to say anything, because I did not want to upset her or make her apprehensive, especially while we were dealing with an issue of our own...because of this, I waited 3 days to say anything--3 days of constant self torment....Luckily, last night I shared the communication with Laura with Her; it went as best as I could have hoped. She was a bit put off, initially, however was perfectly able to handle it on an appropriate level. That's what we all love most about our Daddies, right?
So, after discussion and all, everything was still quite copacetic...there is immense detail I could share, as far as the actual dialogue (on both parts of Laura and I as well as DaddyR and I) yet I feel that the need for that is not there. If I choose to share any of these intimate details with anyone, it would be on a more personal level....
For now, all I can say, is thankfully, I no longer have that dirty little secret to carry around, especially from my Daddy, the one person I hide nothing from.... (perhaps some meditation time is needed...my, it has been quite some time...)

Wrapping this up, the message I truly wanted to convey was how utterly amazing my DaddyR was in dealing with the whole situation, and how extremely lucky I am to have Her in my life. I could not imagine anyone that would be a more perfect fit for me, my life, and little Chloe...

My Daddy may not necessarily assume a Daddy role 24/7 or may not feel She lives up to what I may possibly want, but She is greater than I would ever be able to imagine; not only for me, but for my our little Chloe....She knows what I need, when I need it, and is able to love me, for me...She is able to wrap my babygirl heart up in her essence, and keep me safe. She knows that although she may not always be in Her Daddy space, if my babygirl needs nurturing, She can take care of it...She is everything I could have wished for in my Daddy, and I am so happy...proud... to call her my Daddy...