Too much?

Today...what an emotionally tolling day. We have been up in NJ with DaddyR since July 1st...and today, left. I feel so broken without Her by my side...so, so broken...

I know She is adamantly looking for an apartment for us, so C and I can come back as soon as humanly possible, and we can resume our happy little family, but having to turn my back and walk through that airport again today was shattering. Sobbing, tears running down my face, and trying to pull it together so my our daughter doesn't see it and get upset....
I feel like I am trying to justify all of my feelings right now, which I am, but the bottom line right now is, without Her beside me, I feel like my heart is in a tourniquet...like I cannot exist as a whole anymore. I have grown so used to being by Her side; falling asleep and waking up in Her arms...knowing that I will not tonight, or tomorrow, or for a while now, is such a disheartening feeling. I am so used to and happy with that elated feeling Her love fills me with.

I know this is not only hard on me, but on Her as well. I know She is under even more pressure than I am, to find our home and provide for our family, but that doesn't necessarily make it more palatable for me. I wish I was in Her arms still....I wish I had a more concrete timeline for whe. We will be together again, but ultimately, I know the pressure is a lot on Her, and it terrifies me...it terrifies me that She has so much pressure on Her- what if it's too much?

I never want to be or cause too much for my One...my Hunni, my Lover, my Partner, my Daddy....