The light at the end of the tunnel

Sometimes life can be hectic- so hectic. Things get to where you don't know what is what...you cannot tell what end is up. The good news in times like these are that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't think there will be...sometimes, you just need someone to remind you that everything will be okay.

That is exactly where I am right now. Beginning to come out of the chaotic stress, and have that glorious light shine through; that light that has been trying so hard to shine through, but at times has been dimmed by unfortunate circumstances, only to be focused in on again by the words of my Daddy. 
There have been so many days lately where everything just seems like it is too much to handle. There have been so many times where I have felt so hopeless and lost, as if nothing matters. I've felt inadequate on so many levels-- as a mother, a partner, even as Her babygirl. I have felt as though I could not pull through this chaotic mess. I have been scared of what may happen. I have been scared that She would no longer want me, because I have acted like such a little brat and tried to push Her away, without meaning to in the moment when really, all I've wanted is for Her to pull me closer. To tell me 'everything is going to be okay, babygirl....' and that is just what She has done.
She has shown me, in so many ways, just how important I am to Her. How much She loves me. How much She also desires our family....no matter how bratty I've been...

This past month has been very difficult for me. My mini and I have been in Alabama, with an ex of mine. (yes, slightly awkward for me, but that's neither here nor there at this point) Daddy has trusted me completely, which feels good, but the whole situation has been less than desirable. I have had my poor 15month old in a one bedroom apartment, on the 10th floor, in downtown Montgomery, in an icky, disgusting, dirty, apartment. It's had me stressed to the point of breaking out in head to toe hives...it's been less than ideal, by far. 
We were expecting to be here until the beginning of september, however, after a gracious offer, we will be taking the last leg of our trip before being able to settle down, in Fayetteville, North Carolina. On Tuesday afternoon, Chloe and I will be flying out of here to spend the duration of our separation from Daddy in Fayetteville, with Laura. Chloe will have the space in a house to run and play, as well as a huge backyard...and not only Laura's doggies, but our doggie, Thumper(who I cannot wait to wrap my arms around and cuddle!!) I'm really excited to be going someplace that I feel is adequate for my mini...she deserves to have so much more than she has here in this skeevy little apartment! ...and then, after the next couple weeks, she and I both will have my Rhonda(Daddy) and her MommyRhonda back....for keeps....

So, as the month winds down, it comes closer to going back to Daddy...to going home, at last. Saying 'home' feels so good. I long to be in Daddy's arms again oh so very much. The thought of being by Her side every night as I fall asleep, and every morning when I wake is the most amazing thought in the world....'soon, babygirl, soon' these words echo in my head every day...and make things better, even when it seems as though that light at the end of the tunnel is dim...somehow my wonderful, amazing Daddy always seems to point me in the way of that effervescent light again...She always has Her way with me.....(hehe...on a myriad of levels)

With that being said, I am going to wind down and curl up with Daddy's tshirt, and dream of Her....just wanted to update! I am trying to work blog time in...really!!

Xoxo.
~A